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Category: For Parents

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For Parents

Mesothelioma

Mesothelioma is a cancer that can affect children, although rarely. Out of the 12345 people affected, only 240 of those patients were under 40. While it’s mostly associated with exposure to asbestos, with young people, there is often not a clear connections to it. Things for parents to watch out for is lead exposure in sport fields, homes or schools made before the 1980’s. Symptoms include breathing issues and pain in the chest for cancer forming around the lungs. There is pain in the abdomen and digestive issues for cancer growing in the abdominal region. Please read more information about this. https://www.asbestos.com/mesothelioma/children-young-adults/

Even though this cancer is rare in children, being aware that it does occur is important to know, just in case. My son was diagnosed with a cancer that affects less than one in a million. You never know who you may help!

Find more resources for learning about childhood cancer at our blog, Information about Childhood Cancer.

Parents help childhood cancer
For Parents

Best Ways Parents Help Childhood Cancer

Article by: Katie Sutton M.D. - Pediatric Oncologist

One of my favorite parts of being a pediatrician, and a pediatric oncologist specifically, is the
opportunity to care for my patients AND their entire families. While all families support their child in
their own ways, there are certainly common threads among families who do this incredibly well. After
more than 10 years practicing pediatric oncology (and with some sage input from my solid tumor
colleagues – Drs. Stokes and Wasilewski and Melissa Martin, NP), here are some things we have found
to be incredibly helpful in this unbelievably challenging time.

Best Ways Parents Can Help in Childhood Cancer

1. “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.”  It can be tempting for families to pour their hearts and souls into caring for their ill child and neglect their personal care. Maintaining your own physical and mental health is essential to be able to provide the best care for your child.

2.“Humor is the best medicine.” Although cliché, this is incredibly true. Of course, there is nothing funny about a diagnosis of childhood cancer, but if you’re willing to watch for it, there is often humor in so many situations. Maintaining perspective, giving yourself grace, and being able to see the lighter side of things will not only help you stay sane, but also bring a sense of joy and brightness to your interactions with your child. Children are incredibly perceptive and feed off the stress of their parents, seeing the humor where there is some can lighten their load.   

3. Children continue to go through stages of development despite a cancer diagnosis.       They will continue to naturally mature and test boundaries, especially if they are toddlers or teens. Although it often seems natural to give in to all their requests when they are ill, maintaining some semblance of discipline is actually incredibly important for their long-term development and behavior. Of course, we want to do things to make them more comfortable, but children benefit from routine and reasonable rules. This is how they learn how to self-regulate and be successful in the present and as adults.

Talk with your child

Keep their age in mind while sharing information. Try to keep life as normal as possible.

4. Engage your child in age-appropriate conversations about their diagnosis and treatment.
Children are incredibly smart and can pick up on what is going on. If they perceive the adults
around them are not being forthright, they often assume what’s happening is EVEN WORSE than
it actually is. Utilize your oncologist and child life team to keep them informed. Additionally,
children are often very insightful and can, from a fairly early age, contribute to decisions about
their health in ways that can be wonderful and surprising.

5. Don’t threaten your child with medical interventions – don’t say things like “If you don’t behave,
you’ll get an extra shot/poke/medicine, etc.” There are medically necessary things that we have
to do to your child. Turning the unpleasant parts of treatment into a punishment makes them
both physically and emotionally painful and decreases your child’s trust in their medical team.

6. Try to make life in the hospital as normal as possible – lights on during the day with the blinds
up, continue with schoolwork or other routines, normal bedtime. This improves mood and
sleep and decreases delirium. Establish a routine for procedures, pokes, scans. Bring the same toy or blanket, watch the same shows/listen to the same music, get milkshakes after every scan – whatever feels right. It helps children to have a routine and be able to know what to expect.

7. Engage with the school liaison at the hospital and your child’s school to continue their
education. Keeping up with their peers as they are able is not only important academically but
psychologically as well. It helps maintain normalcy and a sense of progress in something other
than cancer treatment.

8. Allow your child to continue to engage with their friends. As long as their friends aren’t sick,
they can visit and play with your child. This too is important to maintain normalcy and

happiness. Additionally, it can also be traumatic to finish cancer treatment and realize all your
friends have moved on and made new relationships – some of this is inevitable but allowing
them to continue to socialize can help.

 

Parents help childhood cancer

Family Is Important

 

9. Name a family member or friend to help coordinate the multitude of community members who
will want to help you – folks will want to bring meals, gifts, etc. and while well-meaning, it can
easily become overwhelming. Similarly, it’s OK to set boundaries and let folks know when you
need some space.

10. Work hard to maintain the other relationships within the family. Your relationship with your
spouse and especially your relationships with your other children remain just as important, if
not even more important, than before your child’s diagnosis. Save time and space for them too.
Most importantly, know that you ARE ENOUGH. Be with your child, love on them, engage with
them. At the end of the day, you are exactly what they need.

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For Parents

Expert Advice: What Are Clinical Trials?

What is important to know about clinical trials

Article by: Katie Sutton, M.D. – Pediatric Oncologist

Research studies and clinical trials are how doctors learn about cancers and how to treat them.  Some studies simply collect information without guiding treatment.  For example, for many cancers there are “biology studies” or registries.  These studies allow us to learn about cancer.  Some things we might learn from this type of study include:

  • How often a type of cancer occurs
  • What type of patients are most commonly affected (infants vs teenagers, boys vs girls, patients of a specific race or ethnicity?)
  • Information about the cancer such as what the cells look like under the microscope, common genetic changes, and common laboratory findings
  • How often the tumor spreads to other sites

If your child participates in this type of study, information about them and their cancer will be collected.  For some studies, a blood or urine sample or a small leftover piece of tumor tissue may be saved or used in the laboratory.  You and your child’s healthcare team may or may not receive any information back from the researchers in this type of study.  This will be explained before you decide to participate.

What are the different stages of clinical trials?

Clinical trials help us understand how to treat cancers.  They are research studies that test new medicines or combinations of medicines.  There are different types of treatment studies called Phase 1, Phase 2, and Phase 3.  Each type of study has a different purpose.  Often before a medicine is tested in kids it goes through these steps in adults first.

Phase 1

  • These are the very earliest studies for a new drug.  They involve a small number of patients.  The goal is to test the drug’s safety and to find the best dose of the medicine (usually the highest dose with acceptable side effects).  The investigators will be watching for signs that the medicine is working (“efficacy”), but this type of study is not designed to test how well the treatment works.  If the medicine is tolerable and safe it can move to Phase 2.

Phase 2

  • These studies usually include more patients, although they are still small.  They use the dose of the medicine from the Phase 1 study and begin to evaluate if the medicine works.  The researchers will continue to monitor the safety of the treatment and what side effects patients have.  If the treatment is promising, it will move on to Phase 3.  

Phase 3

  • These studies include the largest number of patients and are trying to prove the new medicine works to treat the cancer.  A Phase 3 study often compares the new medicine to the best known therapy (“standard of care”).  If the new medicine is found to be better, it will become the new standard of care moving forward.  Researchers continue to monitor for safety and side effects.

All phases of trials may also be trying to answer additional questions.  For example, studies may evaluate a patient’s quality of life or may test whether certain blood tests are helpful during treatment.  These will always be explained to you

For tips on how to talk with your child’s doctor about this and other issues, you can check out this blog for tips!

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For Parents

Expert Advice: What Is The Process For Being On A Clinical Trial?

What Is The Process For Being on Clinical Trials?

Article by: Katie Sutton, Md – Pediatric Oncologist

Screening:  In order to be enrolled on a clinical trial, your child’s healthcare team will do a thorough evaluation of their cancer (may be with images, labs, or biopsies – taking a sample of the tumor) as well as an evaluation of their current health overall.  If they meet the criteria for study participation and your healthcare team believes the study is an appropriate option for your child, the study will be discussed with you.

Consent: All parts of the study should be thoroughly explained to you, and you should feel like you have plenty of time to ask questions.  It’s your healthcare team’s job to make sure you understand everything about your child’s cancer and the study.  You should understand your child’s diagnosis and prognosis.  You should know what procedures are part of the study.  You should be told that participation is voluntary and what alternative treatments exist.  If you choose to participate (more on that later), you’ll sign a consent document – sometimes these are very long!  You should always be provided with a copy.  Even if you consent, you always have the right to withdraw from participation.

Enrollment: Your child will then be enrolled in the study.  If it is a treatment clinical trial, there will usually be labs and other tests that have to happen when they start the therapy and then at set times throughout the study.  In order for doctors to really answer the questions about whether a treatment is safe and effective, the study procedures and treatment must be given in a specific way and obtained at specific times.  It may feel rigid, but it’s the only way to make sure the data is accurate and understandable.  If you’re worried you might not be able to stick to the schedule, it’s important to tell your child’s healthcare team.

How to decide whether to participate in a study or clinical trial?

The decision to participate in research including clinical trials is a very personal one.  Things one might consider:

  • How do you feel about research in general?  As a doctor, I believe that research studies are how we’ve made such great progress in treating childhood cancer over the past 50 years, but sometimes due to past personal experiences or experiences of loved ones, families are uncomfortable with participation in research and THAT IS OK!  Your healthcare team will support you.
  • Can you stick to the treatment plan and schedule of the study?
  • What other options exist for your child?
  • How common is your child’s cancer type?  Is there a “standard of care?”  Some cancers are so rare that we aren’t certain how to best treat them.
  • How is your child’s underlying health?  How might the study impact their quality of life?
  • What Phase is the trial?  A Phase 3 study of a medicine that has been already tested for safety and signs of efficacy (working) has a reasonable chance to directly impact your child and their cancer.  It will be largely unknown whether a drug in a phase 1 study will work to treat your child’s cancer, but it may help other children in the future.  

No Right or Wrong Way

Different families have different experiences, values, and hopes.  For some, it is important to feel they have tried everything available to cure their child’s cancer.  For others, their child’s quality of life is most important and so they want to pick a treatment that minimizes side effects or allows them to stay at home or avoid medicines.  For some, knowing they are helping the “greater good” or kids in the future gives meaning to their child’s experience.  There is no “right” or “wrong” way to approach the decision.  Your child’s healthcare team should help you understand all of the options and how they align with your priorities for your child.  

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For KidsFor Parents

Books about Childhood Cancer

It’s hard not knowing how to help or explain things to children. One of the first things I asked for were books about childhood cancer to help my kids. I developed “My Coping Skills Coloring Book for Cancer Kids and Families” to share the feelings my family experienced and what we did about to feel better. This coloring book shares how kids may feel during a cancer journey. There are detailed pictures to color. It also shares different ways to cope with negative feelings and encourages creativity. It’s also available for free by clicking the link!

Here are a few other books about childhood cancer we were given from the hospital that help siblings understand more about cancer. They gave us a way to explain to our older boys why their baby brother was in the hospital. I really liked how I Have a Question About Cancer by Arlen Gaines answered questions about the body. It’s so helpful for curious minds because it describes the in and outs of the disease, including what happens to the cells. Hi, My Name is Jack by Christina Beall-Sullivan is a book about how you feel when your brother or sister is going through cancer. It especially takes a look at negative feelings. Jamie’s Journey by Sharon Wonzy is written more like a story, describing the cancer journey. Jamie is the sister of Jordan who has cancer and is sharing her thoughts. At the end, it has room to journal your own thoughts and feelings.

What’s one of your favorite books for childhood cancer? Let me know at lexi@cancerkidsresources.com

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For Parents

Sleep Chart for Kids

S

chedules and routines tend to go out the window after a childhood cancer diagnosis. Everyone has to find a new normal in between hospital visits, family separations, and relying on community support. Our kids feel this disruption whether they are in treatment or a sibling. For us, after losing our little Cayden, the whole family went through a whirlwind of emotions and changes that left everyone out of balance. After a while, I felt something was needed to help with falling asleep and staying asleep at night so I created this sleep chart for kids. It can (and was) used as a chore chart as well!

This sleep chart for kids works because it adds an incentive for your child to do the desired task. First, teach how to do what you are asking (deep breathing, imagination, etc). After you are confident they know what to do, but they are not motivated to do it, bring in the chart. In this case, they track how fast they fall asleep. They write down the points they earned. At the end of the week, you decide how to reward them! I used one quarter per point. You can also use dimes, free time minutes or candy. I also used this as a chore chart. It was extremely motivating for my kids! I saw them do a complete turn around immediately after starting this chart. Every day for the month wasn’t perfect and I was happy that they were honest about their points. Overall, we saw dramatic improvement! This was maintained even after the month (and my piggy bank) ran dry.

Try Sleep Chart for Kids!

If you would like a copy of the sleep chart for kids or a chore chart, please fill out the form. I will send a copy to your email. If fear is holding your child back from sleeping, or anything else, try the The Calm Down Kit from My Brave Guide. I used this to go over strategies to relax before sharing the chart. I also referred to them during nights that were tougher. The chart, combined with specific instruction and tips, worked wonders!

Information about Childhood Cancer
For Parents

Information about Childhood Cancer

I know I was a parent who wanted to understand as much as I could about what was going on in my son’s body. More than anything, I wanted to know how to help him! I’ve met many parents who want to know how to support their child at home. Here is a list of YouTube channels, podcasts, and websites that can help you find information about childhood cancer.

Video Information about Childhood Cancer

Two YouTube channels that have great general information come from the National Cancer Institute and Icon Cancer Centre. The National Cancer Institute has a playlist called “When a Child Has Cancer” and it has information on how to keep notes when the doctor comes in, how to talk to your child and how to support your child at home. With the Icon Cancer Centre has some general information available in different languages such as Vietnamese and Bahasa. YouTube is also great for searching up specific side effects or conditions your child may have. I found this very helpful and used the information to ask my doctor questions.

Podcast Information

A great podcast if you are interested in the nitty gritty science behind childhood cancer treatments, protocols and side effects, is Understanding Childhood Cancer with Dr. Geoff. It is potentially overwhelming because it does include medical terminology. The talks can be hard to follow for a long time with many uncommon terms. It does have great answers and information if you are quick to pick things up or are willing to take the time to google terms or concepts that are not familiar. The Lighthouse Podcast shares stories from families who have gone on a cancer journey and has some informational episodes. It’s great because it’s parent to parent. It is easy to relate to and hearing about trials or resources other families tried is helpful.

Blog Information about Childhood Cancer

We at Cancer Kids Resources provide information on that is helps children and families cope on a cancer journey. We have blogs that share about resources we have experience with and have used. There is also information on how communities can provide support for people they know who have a child with cancer. Alex’s Lemonade Stand has a blog that shares information on research ideas. They also share facts about different types of cancer.

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For Parents

A Home Away From Home

Traveling for your child’s treatment is common. You may need to be closer to your state’s main children’s hospital, be interested in traveling for a second opinion, clinical trial or to receive a special surgery somewhere far from home. At first, my husband, Chris and I were excited at the thought of having options for our son’s treatment. Soon, we felt enormous stress planning the trip. One factor was where we would stay. Jamicia Tillman lived two hours from her son’s hospital and he needed daily radiation. She needed a place to stay as well. We are sharing our personal experiences with staying at a “home away from home” for anyone else who wants to know more about what it is like.

So what was it like staying in the home away from home?

Jamicia– We were originally planning to stay in a hotel but towards the time we needed to be there our financial support for this option fell through. We were so thankful that the Ronald McDonald House made a way for our family of five to stay there at the last minute. The house was amazing and I could tell that people but time and effort into making it feel comfortable. There was an awesome library that had a lot of tools and resources for the kids. It helped a lot when our boys couldn’t be in school at that time. My son loved the support dogs that were at the hospital and we were so surprised that the crew came to the house as well! He really loved that. The rooms themselves weren’t super up-to-date but it’s amazing that everything was provided on donations alone!

Was there anything that was tough about staying at a home away from home?

Jamicia- The main thing I noticed was that the managers were not friendly. I felt judged and stereotyped for needing a free place to stay. That was what made me the most uncomfortable.

Chris– I stayed at the Boston House. The televisions were really outdated so I couldn’t stream any television and didn’t have cable either. The internet was spotty which made it hard for me to work remotely. The bed wasn’t really comfortable so I ended up taking a break at hotel just to get a good night’s sleep before coming back to the house. Still, my wife slept every night in the hospital with our son. She reminds me I was a lot more comfortable than her.

What was your favorite thing about staying there?

Chris- The best part of staying there was that it was free. We were planning on being out of state for about two weeks, not two months. It really helped financially to have a place that wouldn’t wreck our budget.

Jamicia- Honestly, my favorite part about being at the Ronald McDonald House was meeting so many other families. We got to know one another and supported each other. Some families had been there for months and were able to share resources and advice with us when we got there. All in all, after being there a couple months, I was so relieved when we could finally go home! I cried tears of joy. I am thankful though that it was there when we needed it.

Have you had an experience at a home away from home? Please share it in our community group and look for more helpful resources for a childhood cancer journey here!

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For Parents

Tips for Developmental Delays

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ancer treatments can bring delays or setbacks in children’s development. Side effects will depend on what type of cancer your child has, what treatment they are on and how they respond to it. Many families report delays in cognitive and physical growth. I noticed speech was developing much slower for my toddler with cancer than it had with my older sons. He also stopped walking independently when chemotherapy began. His physical body seemed to shrink rather than grow taller and stronger.

Set a Foundation for Learning

Emotional and physical trauma (like from battling cancer) can make it hard for a child to want to learn academically. Don’t expect things to carry on exactly as if nothing is happening because something huge is. However, cushioning the blows is possible with a lot of effort and support to help remain on the track. Fred Rogers from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood discussed six “necessities” required to be ready to learn. These include foundations such as a sense of self-worth, curiosity and daily time alone. Read more about these important foundations here to help your child grow. This is for siblings too, who may not be growing as much when so much of your energy is being poured out already. Similar to Montessori learning, this sets the stage for them to grow and you don’t have to be as hands on as you would think for them to thrive.

Get Professional Assistance

Ask about any physical, occupational or speech therapy your child may be able to receive. Doctors don’t always suggest this, but you can. I used to think my son would just re-learn these skills one day but once he started occupational and physical therapy, he made much faster progress. They can show you the cayse of the delays and tell you what to do to help those specific weaknesses. No need to work on these items just once a week either. See if you can get similar resources to use at home to keep practicing what was learned throughout the week.

Set Aside Time to Build Skills

Language was something we worked on everyday. Learning sign language was actually a huge help with building vocabulary for us. We then knew when he wanted water or was hungry, which was absolutely critical for a cancer patient. It doesn’t just teach hand signs either. By teaching sign language, we also slowed down and intentionally taught verbal language at the same time. My son used verbal words and sign at the same time after we started this.

The Treeschool Preschool and Kid Songs You Tube channel is amazing for teaching a variety of sign words from foods (we loved using this one) to scientific concepts like photosynthesis and they do it all through song! Kids get to watch other kids sign and they will love watching it over and over again until they learn it. I preferred Tree school to other signing videos because the repetition, music and images helps with learning and the videos were grouped into useful topics like foods, feelings and health. For older kids or teens looking for helpful phrases, Signed with Heart has great lessons on Instagram.

Final Takeaway

Whatever you notice is helping your children grow, try to make a habit of doing it at the same time every day or every week to really see them progress. Even during a very difficult time, your children can still grow developmentally and emotionally by setting the stage for success and then following through regularly. What helped delays during treatment for you? Share a comment or join in the daily conversations in our Cancer Kids Resources group

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For ParentsThank you

Maintaining Marriage in Tough Times

Don't Let the storm carry away your Marriage

Thirty+ Tips from Storm Weatherers

Everyone’s marriage goes through difficult times and your child having cancer is definitely one of the toughest tests of your partnership. Still, having your spouse’s support can make all the difference in how you come out on the other side. Here is a list of tips our (experienced) team wants to share with you to keep your marriage healthy during hard times. Many of these were taught to us from our Christian background so you will find references to the verses we ourselves refer to.

Chill Out with Your Spouse

In between ER visits, operations, medication schedules, or whatever difficulty you have going on, you NEED to have time to decompress and get ready for whatever is coming next. Doing this with your spouse will add enjoyment, strength and endurance to your marriage.

  • Cuddle

  • Laugh 

  • Watch television (Matthew 6:34)

  • Order takeout

  • Go on a date

  • Share how you felt about the day and listen to your spouses feelings  (James 1:19)

  • Be accepting of the way your spouse expresses their grief, sadness, etc.

  • Look on the bright side (Psalms 118:24)

  • Seek spiritual guidance together

Lean on Support Systems

You and your spouse are already having a tough time. Leaning on someone who is struggling as much as you are can lead to you both falling down. During this time, you need to tap into as much solid support as you can. Let go of any pride and ask for the help you need.

  • Pray for any and everything (Philippians 4:6)
  • Ask friends to hang out or talk on the phone (Proverbs 18:24)
  • Ask family to family to help watch kids, clean the house, or research solutions
  • Ask neighbors to help out with the yard
  • Ask church family or co-workers to help out with meals (Galatians 6:2)
  • Ask your network to help out financially

Release Negativity

Likely by now, there have already been some bad habits that have formed and disappointments that have decreased trust and affection. Going through a tough season is the time to put those things in perspective and dump out everything from the inside that is causing pain so you can both focus on the attacks from the outside.

  • Pump the brakes on habits that hurt your marriage
  • As a couple, decide you will not let a diagnosis or anything else separate you
  • Stop rehearsing the negative things your spouse says and does in your mind over and over (Col 3:13)
  • Choose grace and think about something positive they did (Philippians 2:3)
  • “In your anger, do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26
  • Communicate what you want and need in simple, calm language
  • Listen and respond to spouse thoughtfully to solve issues (Proverbs 18:13)
  • Spend more time thinking about “we” than “he/she”

Be Intentional

Men and women don’t meet each other’s needs in marriage by accident. There are habits that couples have that greatly increase their satisfaction. Do things that proactively bring the two of you together as a married couple.

  • Let it start and continue with you doing your part (2 Corinthians 5:10)
  • Slip a love note in the car or in their pocket
  • Tell your spouse what they do well as a parent/spouse
  • Make time for physical intimacy throughout the week when you are able to (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
  • Praise your spouse in front of others and do not talk down to them in public
  • Say thank you often for what they do for you and others, no matter how small (Colossians 3:15)
  • Bring up a topic that lights up your spouse, ask questions and have a conversation
  • Communicate is key so process together the hard things like fears, worries, results, scans
  • Do the hard work of breaking down large disagreements into the parts that can be discussed one at a time
  • Discuss ways you can work together to meet the needs of your child and any siblings
It takes a lot of work to maintain a marriage but having your spouse by your side through thick and thin, sickness and health can add so much comfort, security and enjoyment to life.  Share what works for you in our community group.