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The Burgess Family

Tag: cancer kids

home away from home
For Parents

A Home Away From Home

Traveling for your child’s treatment is common. You may need to be closer to your state’s main children’s hospital, be interested in traveling for a second opinion, clinical trial or to receive a special surgery somewhere far from home. At first, my husband, Chris and I were excited at the thought of having options for our son’s treatment. Soon, we felt enormous stress planning the trip. One factor was where we would stay. Jamicia Tillman lived two hours from her son’s hospital and he needed daily radiation. She needed a place to stay as well. We are sharing our personal experiences with staying at a “home away from home” for anyone else who wants to know more about what it is like.

So what was it like staying in the home away from home?

Jamicia– We were originally planning to stay in a hotel but towards the time we needed to be there our financial support for this option fell through. We were so thankful that the Ronald McDonald House made a way for our family of five to stay there at the last minute. The house was amazing and I could tell that people but time and effort into making it feel comfortable. There was an awesome library that had a lot of tools and resources for the kids. It helped a lot when our boys couldn’t be in school at that time. My son loved the support dogs that were at the hospital and we were so surprised that the crew came to the house as well! He really loved that. The rooms themselves weren’t super up-to-date but it’s amazing that everything was provided on donations alone!

Was there anything that was tough about staying at a home away from home?

Jamicia- The main thing I noticed was that the managers were not friendly. I felt judged and stereotyped for needing a free place to stay. That was what made me the most uncomfortable.

Chris– I stayed at the Boston House. The televisions were really outdated so I couldn’t stream any television and didn’t have cable either. The internet was spotty which made it hard for me to work remotely. The bed wasn’t really comfortable so I ended up taking a break at hotel just to get a good night’s sleep before coming back to the house. Still, my wife slept every night in the hospital with our son. She reminds me I was a lot more comfortable than her.

What was your favorite thing about staying there?

Chris- The best part of staying there was that it was free. We were planning on being out of state for about two weeks, not two months. It really helped financially to have a place that wouldn’t wreck our budget.

Jamicia- Honestly, my favorite part about being at the Ronald McDonald House was meeting so many other families. We got to know one another and supported each other. Some families had been there for months and were able to share resources and advice with us when we got there. All in all, after being there a couple months, I was so relieved when we could finally go home! I cried tears of joy. I am thankful though that it was there when we needed it.

Have you had an experience at a home away from home? Please share it in our community group and look for more helpful resources for a childhood cancer journey here!

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For Kids

Joke Book by Kid Who Survived Cancer

What can you do while sitting in the hospital or staying at home? A Joke book, of course! A joke book is something your child can choose whenever they want to get some amusement and laughs into their day. This joke book definitely sticks out because it is written with a child who himself is a cancer survivor! Bring on the tears! What joke book is this? I’m talking about 150 Jokes for Monstrously Funny Kids! As soon as someone shared me a link to this book, I bought it. I am so happy I did! It’s actually really funny and everyone in the struggle knows our kids can use some laughs. The fact that it’s from an eight year old who survived childhood cancer with his mom and brother is just inspirational to me. My boys enjoyed it as well. My own eight year old said it was very creative and my youngest liked that it was written with a kid like him. The kid drawn illustrations were also funny for them. It’s also a great idea to do a fun family project like this to pass the time in the hospital!

Looking for more ideas on how to pass the time? Check out how to get a free coloring book made just for kids with cancer made by Cancer Kids Resources!

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For Parents

Family Unity

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ne parent at home taking kids back and forth to school and activities, the other parent at the hospital keeping track of symptoms and talking to doctors. Maybe one parent is working, while the other is giving meds on schedule. Or perhaps one parent is overwhelmed with stress or depression, and the other parent is focused on keeping the family happy. Not to mention, these things can change by the month or even by the day! So how do we keep the family feeling united in a time of chaos? Here are some tips.

Family Night

If you don’t have one yet, you don’t know what you’re missing until you try. Pick a day of the week that your family will spend together- watching a movie, playing a board game, having a bible study, going on a walk, etc. Every week that everyone is home, you do that activity. For us, we did a video devotional and a movie while we had pizza, popcorn and carrots every Friday. Many weeks we missed it due to hospital stays but when we could, it was such a joy for everyone and we all look forward to it.

Video Chat

During times of separation, make an effort to keep updated as parents everyday through a call and texts throughout the day. Video chats are especially helpful for kids to feel connected to siblings and the other parent when everyone can’t be together. Making a time everyday to do this may be hard due to different schedules but there is definitely something powerful to seeing faces as well as hearing voices. We only made the effort sometimes to video chat but calling everyday was a must for us and helped a TON with relieving stress and feeling like partners.

Build on Strengths and Availability

Make something great out of your family’s ingredients. What can everyone bring? Attentiveness, routine, joy, fun, peace, finances, support systems, faith, research, resources, encouragement, etc. Everyone has a position to hold when under deadly fire. Of course, everyone will bring their weaknesses too and everyone requires time and energy to stay afloat. This complicates the battle plan but get one together and modify as you go. Plan to succeed!

Focus on Faith

God was our support, day in and day out. One phone call while sitting in a hospital bed most of the day only goes so far. Is a few texts really enough while you’re suddenly feeding, bathing and transporting kids between work calls and worried about what’s happening at the hospital? One family night out of seven nights a week makes a difference but will it carry you the distance? I’d be wrong not to share my greatest help. A relationship with God gave me continuous support and still does even after our loss.

Keeping the family united through a cancer journey gives a peace, joy, and confidence. If, you’ve been on this journey, what are some tips you have?